13 Reasons Why
by JadelynWoods
Summary: Beck Oliver finds out that he's one of the reasons why his crush, decided to commit suicide, he gets the suicide notes of Jade West and will understand her, he will enter into her soul, he will try at least to know why, she decided to end up with her life. 13RW/Victorious


**Hey guys, you know this is my second Bade fanfic, and it will be a crossover with my favorite book, though enjoy, ;) This will be narrated in Beck's point of view, though I have never worked with POVS, but let's try.**

**Remember guys that I do write all of my fanfics at 3-4am so don't judge by my grammar, I know it's bad, though I did my best**

**Cassette 1, side 1:**

It's a cold morning, on a saturday, though there's me, I'm Beck Oliver, by introducing myself? There's not much….

I'm actually really shy, I'm quiet I'm mostly the kind of guy that will keep his problems to himself, but why? Though I'm not popular at school, jerks are, actually popularity is meaningless, the school will be over, what will happen next? You will be a nobody, I'm not that kind of guy that goes to parties or get high,

I'm just normal.

I'm just done eating breakfast, though I might be going out for a walk, while I open the door I found a box, with my name on it,

Why is my name on it?

It has no sender, I just go inside, and open it, wha-what the fuck is this?

Cassettes? We are not in the 20th century, How will I be able to hear them?

I was looking through my dad's old stuff in the basement until i found it!

A tape recorder, wait those cassettes are enumerated, there are 7 cassettes, all of them have 2 sides, except for the number 7, so there are 13 recordings…. I grabbed the first and put it inside the recorder, I put the headphones on and listen to the first side,

"Hello guys, I'm back from dead, missed me much?"

She laughed, that voice….. that's Jade West, she commited suicide 3 weeks ago, her voice is charming,I have loved her since forever , but I never got the guts to tell her, I… I- I can't breathe, I'm not alright, what the actual fuck? Why do I have this?

"I don't think so… well let me explain really quick, I have been recording these tapes, if you got this cassettes, I will see you burn in hell, You got this because you are one of the reasons why I suicide…."

There was silence and then her laugh, Am I one of the reasons why she comitted suicide? I'm feeling soulless, right now, How do I explain that feeling, I do not even know what I did, her voice again, it's scary, Jade has been always popular at school, not in a really good way, everyone thought she was a slut that fucked with everyone, but I really knew her, she wasn't the person everyone talked about, She was pure, she was just destroyed by society, I could see through her soul,

"Let me explain the rules, so there are 13 reasons why, I decided to die,to those 13 people, fuck you all," you can hear her quiet sobbing,

"All of you will get the box, the first will have to send it to the next person, if any of you disobey these rules, the tapes will be out, so everyone could hear them, and your perfect reputation will be burried, just like me, though all of you guys got a map! Our town is really small, so it will be easy..."

Why am I one of the reasons? Did I really hurted her? I'm not gonna cry, though a tear of shame escapes one of my eyes, I got that map! I looked inside of my bag and found it, it has 13 red stars,

"Before we start I want all of you to know i'm an open book now, First of all I have always being realistic, i wasn't the romantic girl, I always thought love was bullshit, there are two different kinds of person, the realistic ones that see the world how it really is, and the romantic ones that are actually lost in fantasy when they fall in love, though I have never believed in love… until I met this guy, mmmm yes, I'm talking about you Ryan Smith,

We were 14 years old, till you appeared in my life, and totally changed my point of view…"

He was Jade's first kiss ,everyone knew that, they were the "it" couple, but it ended quick ,I can actually hear her smile, I can feel it,

"Well, let me tell you who you really are, Ryan. You were my very first love, how curious, We were so young!, was it even love? Mmmm… I don't think so, I wanted my very first kiss to be perfect. like completely perfect. And I can't complain about it because it was, thank you, Ryan, you really did a good job by making me happy, but why would you pretend, and lie? You never loved me, I actually slipped in the kiss, you invited me to that huge slide that's in the main park of our city, it was afternoon and you could actually see the sky , the colors a mix of orange,light- blue and dark blue, it was perfect, though the clouds were covering it, it was going to rain, you made me go up when it started raining, and I slide slowly, I ended up in your arms, with that deep kiss, underneath the rain, it was amazing, and I really won't complain about it, we were perfect for eachother, at least that was what I thought, but then, those rumours, I don't remember having sex that night, and actually never, we were 14! I was actually a kid, what were you having in mind? Telling your friends, bullshit about me? Alright, maps in hands guys, star number 1, F,5"

"Though It wasn't so easy, the stares when you walk in the classroom, though my reputation got down as soon as possible, I cried myself to sleep for days! No one wanted to talk to me! You got me depressed, You dear Ryan, how would you feel if you go inside of your classroom while having 40 pair of eyes on you... It does not feel good, though no one knew the truth!"

So he was the one who started rumours about her… when she was 14.I looked into the map and it's marked with a red star on that slip and says with her messy handwriting "Where I slipped into my first kiss,literally…" I was clenching my fists, that son of a bitch, I was going to kill him, NO ONE HURTS MY JADE! Though, too late for that, she never was my Jade, I never told her, though I remember the first time we kissed, I fell in love for her, when I met her at work, so I went to a party, just to see her, she had to tie my shoe lace, tears were falling out of my eyes,

"Though, I don't want you to feel guilty, Ryan, hey I'm dead anyway,right?"

The first side of the cassette ended, I can't move though, I'm Beck Oliver and I never had the chance of telling Jade I really loved her, now turns out I'm one of the reasons why she took that handful of pills? I close my eyes, I can't think about that! Jade lying depressed, on her bed, finally deciding that she will end up with her life,

That's an easy way to escape,

You were being coward Jade, I tried helping you, and you really pushed me away, Maybe If I had insisted you will be here, with me…

**Please review and tell me if I should keep going? :)**


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